Broken Sorrow
by Frosted Landscapes
Summary: "She allows herself to feel because numbness hurts more that crying and for the first time it is clear that they are all going to lose a friend they have come to love." Zutara.


He lies silently, stiffly, quietly. He is sick now, down with an illness that might take his life. Katara looks at him, her eyes teary, her nose wet from all the crying. She encases her hands in water and places them on his brow. There is little or no relief and his fever rages on. This brings her to her knees. She loves him more than she should and the unspoken truth that he will die because of his illness is what she cannot stomach.

Aang, now taller than her approaches and puts an arm around her shoulder. He knows the severity of the situation; that they will probably lose the friend they have come to love over the years. But he is not about to make Katara feel worse. He squeezes her shoulder but there is nothing there, she is an empty shell. They look at Zuko and for the first time, they are sure that they are going to lose a friend they have come to love.

xxx

The next day he sleeps still, his body set in stone. She doesn't know what to make of this, she knows however that this is something she cannot cure, not even with her bending. She is broken, sorrow, spilling out of her eyes as she allows the pain to engulf her because feeling hurts less than feeling numb. His pulse is weak and that is what makes her sink to the floor again.

Mai approaches her and her new found friend engulfs her in a warm hug. It is honorable of the nobleman's daughter really, since it is no secret that they share the same feelings for the young Fire Lord. The other woman's presence doesn't relieve her hurt and Katara continues to cry for the man she wished she had told how much she loves.

There is nothing between them although she wishes there was.

xxx

She reads to him today's news as his eyes are shut and his breathing soft and ragged. There is the signing of the peace treaty between the Fire and Earth Nations, fruit of his hard work. She only wishes he were awake to witness this happy occasion.

She touches her hand to his brow and wipes away the sweat that has gathered. His temperature has subsided but he is cold to the touch, she isn't sure which one she prefers. There is little sign of life in his form and this again brings her to her knees. She doesn't want to lose him, not when she wishes they could be more than just friends.

It's selfish of her really, life was a difficult route for the both of them and she thinks that death will make him happier. At least he would be reunited with his mother who has long gone to the spirit world, but there isn't a bone in her form that is going to allow his being to disappear into the afterlife.

xxx

She is sitting on a chair, silently, sleeping, her head on his chest, her hands placed neatly on his stomach. She is awakened however by Yin, a young nurse who has seen the Fire Lord move. Katara stares at the young man and is more than happy to see that his fingers are twitching that little bit and his eyes are rolling under their lids. She awakens the palace with her cries of joy and is joined by her little gang of friends.

They watch silently, desperately as his fingers twitch and he opens his eyes. She has never been happier to see those molten golden orbs of his.

"Katara", he whispers and she rushes to his side, there are tears of joy in her eyes as she stares down at her friend. They don't know however, that when they are not looking, Aang and Mai bask in the sad fact that they have lost the people they love.

xxx

The following days prove to be good to him. He is walking, running, _bending_. She doesn't know if she could ask for anything better. She smiles at him as he spars with Aang who undoubtedly is giving his former firebending teacher the advantage and a chance to win. This is Aang, he loves his teacher too much to hurt him. And so the young Avatar's movements are gentle and he is quickly bested by his teacher.

Aang takes it lightly and cleans the soil from his arm. He smiles warmly at the other man and hugs his teacher, showing his good nature. And Katara smiles at this, her Zuko is back and she loves it. She loves the fact that he is getting better even though there are times that he experiences shortness in breath or pants just a little.

She knows he will recover because he has to; he just has to for her if not for himself.

xxx

The next day she is with him, all he has for company. He seems bored, because she has made him stay at the infirmary and refused his request to head back to his office to finish his paper work. They are playing a game tonight which is much better than the previous days where they just sit around his bed and do nothing, with her talking about the old days, about her mother and him recalling the death of his.

This is much better. She looks at him; his eyes are far from the game and look a little too bored for her liking. She shakes her head at him and throws the dice. It lands on the floor. Both benders instinctively bend over to pick it up, knocking heads and apologizing. He looks at her then, his eyes soft as he moves in and closes the gap between them. His kiss is soft, fiery and she cannot resist him. He wants this, wants her, she can tell by the way his teeth graze on her lower lip and the way he licks the bottom of her lip and begs for entrance.

Katara allows him all those things and before either of them know he is stroking the inside of her thigh and positioning himself on her naked form. She allows him to enter and they make love with vigor. He is gentle, wild and passionate all at once and she doesn't even remember her name when he begins kissing her neck and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, thrusting in and out with a steady pace.

She comes long after he first entered and all she can say now is that she has transited from a girl into a woman, a woman who knows that she is in love and who knows that she is loved.

xxx

His fever rages the next day and she tries everything in her power to heal him. She is placing wet hands on his brow, she is trying her best to heal him but there is no relief. He dies in her arms and she is broken beyond repair. Why did he do this to her? Didn't she try her best to heal him? Wasn't she good enough a reason for him to at least stay for a few more days? She doesn't ponder the answers because there is no point in it.

She collapses into Aang's embrace the day he is set upon the flaming dais and she is crying beyond relief and hitting Aang in the chest, blaming him for what, she is unsure. Just yesterday did she submit her virginity to Zuko it was unfair of him to do this to her, to let her go just like that. She can't forgive him, it is an impossibility.

She cries for days and when she has the chance, she cuts both her wrists with a knife and allows the blood to flow out of her arteries. She cries still until she fades into the light and awakens again in the spirit world. He is waiting for her, his signature smirk placed on his face as he opens his arms to her. She rushes into them and smiles up at her lover. If she couldn't have him in life, she would have him in death.

xxx

**A/N: Looking to get at least 10 reviews for this piece, please r and r! thanks :D**


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